Being Confident is easy!
That’s a really bold statement and one that if you don’t feel confident you may well dispute. Confidence is talked about freely, but what is confidence, and how do you get it?
You are already confident!
Just take a moment to think about areas in your life where you are already confident – you may not even be aware that you are already confident in many of the things you already do.
You may not realise that when you do simple things like clean your teeth, boil a kettle, or open your front door you are confident that you know how to do them. Hopefully you just know that you will be able to perform these apparently easy tasks.
You are unconsciously confident…
Perhaps you don’t realise that you have performed these and many other tasks in your life so many times that you are able to do them unconsciously. You have no thoughts about not being able to carry them out just like you have many times before. There is no anxiety or worry about your ability to perform these tasks.
Being confident comes with practice…
As a child you had to learn everything from scratch. Crawling, walking, talking and everything else that you know today as an adult. You weren’t good at these things straight away, you had to learn them, sometimes the hard way, by making mistakes and correcting them.
Babies and young children don’t have a concept of failure, they just keep learning from what didn’t work, and then keep trying till they succeed. As adults we encourage youngsters to fail and keep on learning, it’s the way that we teach our young to grow and adapt to life challenges.
Failure is a natural way to learn new things for a child.
And then we learn to become conscious of failure…
It’s harder to feel confident as an adult…
As we grow into adulthood failing seems to become a negative thing, we try not to be seen to fail, and if we do we try to cover it up or make excuses.
It’s almost as if failing makes us a lesser person, and for some failing once means you are failure in everything, forever!
Peer pressure is ever present, if you don’t do as well as your family, classmates or workmates, you are falling behind and need to catch up.
It can be summed up as your confidence has taken a knock. Receive those knocks too often and if affects your sense of self, your self esteem. You begin to see yourself as lacking in confidence.
Then you don’t even try…
Once that mindset has set in it becomes easier to not try. To become the person who lacks confidence. Not trying is easier than failing. So you don’t put yourself in the position that requires confidence. That is just asking for trouble!
So what is confidence?
Confidence is simply the state of feeling good about whatever you are doing or want to do. Nothing more, nothing less.
To get confidence you just need to practice whatever it is you want to be good at. That could be your job, going to social gatherings or speaking in public. We all have to start somewhere – usually at the beginning, we have to practice and learn and get better at what we are doing or wanting to do.
How do you become confident if you are afraid to practice?
Remember I wrote about self esteem, your sense of self? That is where the answer is hidden, inside you.
Many times the cause of my clients issues comes back to how they see themselves, the story they have created about their life and what they can or can’t do.
Once they realise that most of their problems stem from what someone else told them, or criticised them about, they begin to see that it’s not their fault. That story they have been telling them selves is not the real them.
Inside they are just fine, they are OK just as they are. They have simply been influenced to think that they are not good enough. And that is not true!
Being confident is your natural state
It may not seem like it, but confidence is your natural state, when you clear out all the rubbish that you have accumulated (mostly from other people) then you begin to see that there is no disgrace in learning from your mistakes – we all make them!
You are then set free to not worry about what people think. When you realise you can’t please everyone and that is just fine. You are ok with doing your best. And that’s all you can do as long as you learn from any mistakes you may have made.
And that’s the key for me not repeating the same mistakes, that’s moving forwards, confidently.
I help people see the truth…
I have a great job.
With my help people discover their own truths and uncover the real person behind their story.
They learn how to write another chapter in their story, a better one that they have the ability to edit for themselves.
If you think I can help you?
I offer a free consultation to see if you can discover the real you.
In as little as three sessions you could be well on your way to feeling the confidence that is rightfully yours.
To find out more or to book your free consultation simply call me on 07810 877158. Or email me through the contact form on my website www.hypnotherapypetersfield.co.uk.